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You did everything right.

Got the degree and landed the “right” job. You’re making more money than your parents ever imagined. On paper, you’re the immigrant success story – the proof that their sacrifice was worth it.

So why do you feel like you’re failing?

Why does success feel hollow? Why can’t you celebrate your wins without hearing a voice in your head that says, “Is this even enough? What about your family back home? What about your parents who gave up everything?”

You have even tried therapy but something about it leaves you feeling a little fake – like you are doing something that doesn’t feel quite right. And it’s not about not trusting the process or applying your learnings, it’s that it makes you feel like it is helping you succeed but not helping you feel at home.

Finding a therapist who understands your experience as a first-generation immigrant.

If you’re struggling with guilt, grief, family expectations, identity confusion, or the weight of being “the first” in your family to achieve certain things, you’re not broken. This is first-generation immigrant trauma – and often you are the first to start working on it as well.

What Is First-Generation Immigrant Trauma?

First-generation trauma refers to the unique psychological struggles faced by people who are the first in their families to be born in a new country, or who immigrated as children or young adults. It’s the invisible weight of:

• Living between worlds (never quite belonging in either your family’s culture or the dominant Canadian culture)
• Carrying your family’s dreams (the pressure to “make it” so their sacrifice wasn’t for nothing)
• Translating more than language (explaining systems, navigating bureaucracy, being the family’s cultural bridge from childhood)
• Grieving what you never had (the stability, resources, or privilege your peers took for granted)
• Survivor’s guilt (you “made it out” while family members didn’t – and that success feels heavy, not freeing)

This isn’t just stress. It’s a specific form of trauma rooted in displacement, survival, and the psychological cost of straddling two (or more) cultural identities.

And it shows up everywhere: in your relationships, your career, your sense of self, your ability to rest.

You’re Not Imagining This – Here’s the Data

If you feel like you’re struggling more than your Canadian-born peers, the research validates your experience:

Mental Health Struggles Are Real

• First-generation immigrant children show lower rates of diagnosed mental health disorders than Canadian-born youth- but this likely reflects underdiagnosis and barriers to care, not better mental health (JAMA Network, 2022)
• Among first-generation Latino immigrant youth in the U.S., 29% showed symptoms of anxiety and 7% showed symptoms of depression (PMC, 2011)
• Family conflict is one of the strongest predictors of anxiety and depression among immigrant youth (PMC, 2016)

The “Healthy Immigrant Effect” Fades Fast- And Second-Gen Has It Worse

When immigrants first arrive in Canada, many show better mental health than Canadian-born populations. But this advantage disappears over time – and gets worse for the next generation:

• First-generation immigrants: 15.28% major depressive disorder, 11.07% mood/anxiety disorders (ages 13-19)
• Second-generation immigrants: 19.14% major depressive disorder – 25% higher than first-generation immigrants
• Canadian-born: 22.98% major depressive disorder, 24.54% mood/anxiety disorders (PMC, 2014; JAMA Network, 2022)

Why second-gen struggles more:

• Identity conflict (pressure to assimilate vs. maintain cultural ties – caught between two worlds with no clear “home”)
• Acculturative stress (navigating racism, language barriers, economic instability without the protective buffer of strong cultural identity that first-generation immigrant has)
• Intergenerational trauma (inheriting your parents’ unprocessed displacement and survival stress – but lacking the language or cultural framework to make sense of it)
• “Success pressure” intensified (parents sacrificed everything – second-gen feels the weight of “proving it was worth it”)

(PMC, 2014; Statistics Canada, 2020; JAMA Network Open, 2022)

What This Means for You:

The mental health struggles you’re experiencing aren’t a personal failing. They’re a predictable response to navigating systems that weren’t built for you, carrying burdens your parents couldn’t name, and trying to succeed while grieving everything left behind.

Additional risk factors backed by research:

• Family conflict: One of the strongest predictors of anxiety and depression among immigrant youth (PMC, 2016)
• Perceived discrimination: Increases risk of both depressive symptoms and anxiety – and predicts mental health struggles more strongly among first-generation immigrants than second-generation immigrants (ScienceDirect, 2022; PMC, 2016)
• Lack of social support: 42% of first-generation immigrant youth report having no one to discuss personal worries with (ScienceDirect, 2022)
• Mixed-status families: Children in families with varied immigration status face higher anxiety and depression risk (PMC, 2011)

7 Examples of First-Generation Immigrant Trauma

You might recognize yourself in these experiences:

1. Immigrant Guilt

“My parents gave up everything for me. How can I complain about anything?”

You minimize your own struggles because they don’t feel “big enough” compared to what your family endured. But trauma isn’t a competition – and your pain is valid, even if you didn’t cross a border to get here.

2. The Pressure to “Make It”

“If I don’t succeed, their sacrifice was for nothing.”

You carry the weight of your family’s dreams. Every failure feels like you’ve let them down. Every success feels like it’s never quite enough. You’re living your life – and theirs.

3. Cultural Straddling (Never Quite Fitting In)

“I’m too [insert ethnicity] for Canadians, and too Canadian for my family.”

You code-switch constantly; you translate – not just language, but entire worldviews; you feel like you’re performing in both cultures but belonging in neither. This is exhausting. And lonely.

4. Parentification (You Were the Adult Too Soon)

“I’ve been filling out forms and making phone calls for my parents since I was 8.”

You didn’t get to be a kid. You were the translator, the navigator, the emotional support. Now, as an adult, you struggle to ask for help – because you’ve always been the one helping.

5. Survivor’s Guilt (You Made It – But at What Cost?)

“I have opportunities my cousins back home will never have. How do I enjoy this?”

Success feels heavy. You can’t fully celebrate wins because part of you is still back there – or mourning the family members who didn’t make it out, didn’t get the same chances, didn’t survive the journey.

6. Family Expectations vs. Your Own Dreams

“They want me to be a doctor/engineer/lawyer. I want to be an artist/writer/social worker.”

Your family’s definition of success (stability, security, status) conflicts with what actually lights you up. Choosing yourself feels like betrayal.

7. The Loneliness of Being “The First”

“No one in my family understands what I’m going through. I have no blueprint for this.”

You’re navigating university, careers, relationships, mental health – with no family roadmap. Every milestone is also a loss – because no one in your family can fully understand or celebrate it with you.

First-Generation Immigrant Trauma in Toronto and Vancouver: Why These Cities Hit Different

If you’re living in Toronto or Vancouver, the pressures of first-generation life are compounded by the unique challenges of these cities.

Toronto: A City of Immigrants – And Inequality

Toronto is one of the most diverse cities in the world:

• 46.6% of Toronto’s population are immigrants (Statistics Canada, 2021)
• Over half of residents in some Toronto suburbs (Markham, Richmond Hill, Mississauga, Brampton) are immigrants – creating ethnic enclaves where cultural preservation is strong
• 55.7% of Toronto’s population are visible minorities (2021 Census)

But diversity doesn’t equal equity. Toronto also has:

• High housing costs making it harder for immigrant families to achieve stability
• Credential recognition barriers (your parents’ degrees often don’t count here)
• Concentrated poverty in immigrant neighborhoods (racialized communities disproportionately affected)

What this means for first-generation immigrants: You’re surrounded by people who look like you – but you’re still navigating systemic barriers that make “making it” exponentially harder than it looks. The pressure to succeed is amplified when your entire community is watching.

Vancouver: The Cost of Paradise

Vancouver is the second most immigrant-dense city in Canada:

• 41.8% of Vancouver’s population are immigrants (Statistics Canada, 2021)
• 60.3% of Richmond and 50.4% of Burnaby residents are immigrants
• Strong Asian diaspora communities (Chinese, Filipino, South Asian, Southeast Asian)

But Vancouver’s “paradise” comes at a price:

• The highest housing costs in Canada (many immigrant families living in precarious housing or multi-generational homes out of necessity, not choice)
• “Model minority” myth pressure (especially for East and South Asian communities – succeed quietly, don’t complain, be grateful)
• Geographic isolation from extended family (for many immigrants, family is thousands of miles away – holidays, celebrations, grief all happen alone)

What this means for first-gen folks: You’re told you live in one of the most beautiful cities in the world – but you can’t afford to enjoy it. The guilt of struggling in “paradise” adds another layer of shame.

Why First-Generation Immigrant Trauma Needs Specialized Therapy

Not all therapists understand first-generation immigrant trauma.

Many therapists will:

• Pathologize your loyalty to family as “enmeshment”
• Frame your guilt as irrational rather than culturally embedded
• Push you to “set boundaries” with your parents without understanding the cultural cost
• Misdiagnose anxiety/depression when you’re actually experiencing acculturative stress and racial trauma

What you need is a therapist who:

• Understands cultural values (collectivism, filial piety, family obligation – and doesn’t see these as problems to fix)
• Gets immigration trauma (displacement, loss, survival mode, parentification)
• Names systemic barriers (racism, credential devaluation, economic precarity – so you stop blaming yourself)
• Speaks your language (literally and/or culturally – less translating, more being seen)
• Respects your pace (healing doesn’t mean rejecting your family or culture)

At Healing in Colour, many therapists specialize in exactly this. Many are first-generation immigrants themselves. They get it because they’ve lived it.

5 Ways Therapy Helps with First-Generation Immigrant Trauma

Here’s what working with a therapist who understands first-generation immigrant trauma can look like:

1. You Stop Carrying Guilt Alone

Therapy creates space to name the weight you’ve been carrying – immigrant guilt, survivor’s guilt, the pressure to “make it” – without judgment. You learn that honoring your family AND taking care of yourself aren’t mutually exclusive.

2. You Process Grief You Didn’t Know You Had

Grief for the childhood you didn’t get; grief for the family members left behind; grief for the version of yourself that might have existed if you’d grown up with stability. This grief deserves space.

3. You Untangle Cultural Expectations from Your Own Desires

Therapy helps you figure out: What do I actually want? vs. What did I learn I’m supposed to want? You get to define success on your own terms – even if your family doesn’t understand it.

4. You Learn to Navigate Family Without Losing Yourself

You don’t have to choose between your family and your mental health. Therapy teaches you how to hold boundaries that respect both your culture and your wellbeing – without guilt, without shame.

5. You Build a New Narrative

You’re not just “the immigrant kid who made it” or “the one carrying everyone’s dreams.” You’re a whole person with your own story. Therapy helps you write it.

You Don’t Have to Carry This Alone

Your parents did their best with what they had. And you’re allowed to need something other than what they could give – after all, they are living a different immigrant experience from you, at the same time as you.

Their survival strategies – work hard, don’t complain, keep the family together at all costs – got them through. But those same strategies might be keeping you stuck.

Healing doesn’t mean dishonoring your family.

It means adding new tools to the ones they gave you – so you can survive and thrive, not just one or the other.

You’re not ungrateful for struggling, you’re not weak for needing support, and you’re not betraying your family by choosing yourself.

You’re doing something that many immigrant parents don’t get the chance to do: healing.

And you deserve a therapist who understands what that means.

Ready to Find Your Therapist?

Search the Healing in Colour directory now for therapists who specialize in first-generation trauma:

Use the search on our site (magnifying glass) to search for folks who have immigrant experiences themselves and use the “immigrant/settlement” filter to find therapists who work with immigrants.

👉 Find a Therapist 

Additional Resources

Related articles:

• How to Find a BIPOC Therapist in Canada
• Children of immigrants struggle with mental health – here’s why | Aryana Altaha | TEDxFolsom

Immigrant support services:

• Toronto: COSTI, Access Alliance
• Vancouver: MOSAIC, ISSofBC, WATARI
• National: Settlement.Org – Comprehensive immigrant settlement information

Not ready for therapy yet?

• Explore our Resources page for community organizations and mental health tools
• Follow us on Instagram for first-gen mental health content
• Join our newsletter for monthly immigrant mental health resources

About Healing in Colour

Healing in Colour is a directory of BIPOC therapists and allied professionals across Canada who are committed to anti-oppressive values. We envision a world where BIPOC, in all our intersections, have access to therapy that supports our healing and liberation.

Learn more:

About Us |Our Statement of Values